Tom Wherry
| Sex | Male |
|---|---|
| Committee position | Blues captain |
| Nationality | Channel Islander |
| College | Lady Margaret Hall |
| Clubs | Blues and Centaurs, Lady Margaret Hall |
| Course | experimental psychology |
| Matriculation year | 2006 |
| Blues | 2007/08(Details) |
Statistics
for Lady Margaret Hall Association Football Club
| Apps (sub) | Minutes | Bookings | Goals (pen) | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Last season | 8 (0) | 695 | 00 | 5 (0) |
Biography
A solid centre-back with an eye for the ladies, ‘The Sex Pest’ brings new meaning to the word 'player'. Calm on the ball and tough in the tackle, he is known for always pulling a girl in the club queue, whilst “they have nowhere to escape.” Always kitted out in the latest gear that AllSports and JD-Sports have to offer, Wherry never trains without his watch on.
In last year’s Centaurs’ Varsity Match, Wezza scored the equaliser with 32 minutes gone in extra-time which sparked jubilant celebrations and sent the game to penalties. He then proceeded to drink most of the team’s alcohol for the evening, although to be fair his fines had paid for almost all of it. This season he has broken into the Blues starting XI, and formed a solid defensive partnership with captain Paul Rainford. Wherry recently accepted a formal invitation from Rainford and Toogood to join them on the middle (big-dogs) bench in the Iffley changing room, taking the place vacated by match-winner Lawrence Burns. It’s not clear how long he will stay there, however, as rumours abound that coach Martin Keown wants Toby Hodgson on the middle bench, so that he is closer to him, and can maintain eye contact with him during team talks.
Tom bases his pre-match preparation on a very strict diet of KFC, crumpets and sausage sandwiches. The fact that his surname rhymes with 'very' has led to many amusing puns.
At College level, 'The Pest' has become a highly influential hater in the ranks of LMHFC. His off-the-field commitment to the cause is matched by few, whilst his ability to head and last more than 60 minutes makes him an LMH rarity on the field. His willingness to continue wearing his audacious purple shellsuit top puts him in the Allchin-school of outrageous gear.
The Pest also has had a long, tiresome history of getting 'ring of fire' at inopportune moments. Wherry's 'ring of fire' was arguably extinguished when he decided that jumping naked into the canal outside Bridge nightclub would be a good idea. Following the imminent arrival of the police, and subsequent threats of rustication, Wherry has since confirmed he no longer believes the act to have been a good idea.
After a poll conducted in both Oxford and Jersey, it was concluded once and for all that 'Wherry IS a w$nker'
